How to Seem Confident (Even When You’re Not!)

I still remember the first time I had to give a big speech. It was back in 3rd grade—imagine me, just 8 years old, standing in front of the entire school. My palms were sweaty, my heart felt like it was trying to jump out of my chest, and my mind completely blanked out. I kept thinking, What if I mess up? What if they laugh at me? That was my first real taste of stage fright, and honestly, it felt like the scariest thing in the world.

But here’s the thing: stage fright is totally normal. Almost everyone who speaks in front of others feels it at some point—even the pros. The good news? It doesn’t have to stop you. In fact, with a little practice and some tricks, you can learn how to seem confident—even when you’re shaking inside.

Let me share some of the tips I’ve picked up over the years to help me get through those nerve-wracking moments. These worked for me, and I’m sure they’ll help you too!

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

This one might sound obvious, but it really is the foundation of confidence. The more familiar you are with what you’re going to say, the less room there is for nerves to take over. I used to practice in front of the mirror, watching my expressions and gestures. Then, I’d try it out on family members or friends who could give me honest feedback.

Pro tip: Record yourself! Listening back helps you notice little things you can improve that you might not catch in the moment.

2. Breathe and Relax

Sounds simple, right? But it’s amazing how much a few deep breaths can calm your mind and body. Right before I go on stage, I take slow, deep breaths to slow down my racing heart and clear my head.

Try this: Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and breathe out for 6. Repeat a few times. It’s like a mini reset button.

3. Visualize Success

Your mind is powerful. If you imagine yourself nailing the speech, hearing applause, and feeling proud, your brain starts to believe it can happen. This positive visualization builds real confidence.

I used to close my eyes before a speech and picture the exact moment I finished, smiling and getting good feedback. It gave me a boost every time.

4. Start Small

You don’t have to jump into a huge crowd right away. Begin with smaller, friendlier audiences. Maybe a class presentation, a debate club, or even just practicing in front of your family.

Each time you speak in front of others, it gets easier. You’ll start to realize that people aren’t judging you as harshly as you think—they’re mostly rooting for you.

5. Own Your Nervousness

Here’s a little secret: You don’t have to pretend you’re not nervous. Sometimes, acknowledging it helps take away its power.

A quick smile or a light-hearted comment like, “I’m a little nervous, but excited to share this with you!” can make you feel more in control—and your audience will appreciate your honesty.

The Truth About Confidence

Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel scared or nervous. It means you don’t let those feelings stop you. Even the most experienced speakers had moments when their hands shook or their voices wobbled. What sets them apart is that they showed up anyway.

So next time you find yourself standing in front of a crowd, palms sweaty and heart racing, remember this: you’re capable, prepared, and ready. Take a deep breath, smile, and step into that spotlight because your story, your ideas, and your voice matter.

The audience isn’t there to catch you slipping—they’re there because they want to hear what you have to say.

Go out there, speak up, and show the world what you’ve got. You might surprise yourself with how confident you can really be—inside and out.

If you liked this, I’d love to hear about your own experiences with stage fright or public speaking. What’s helped you feel more confident? Drop me a message or comment below—we’re all in this together!